


no rest for the wicked

by lilacsanonymous (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cousin Incest, F/M, Femdom, Fluff and Crack, Please Someone Help These Disasters, Sub Kylo, brief smut but not enough to warrant an E or an M i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-05-10 14:31:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5589814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lilacsanonymous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>alternatively known as, these losers in space deserve some happiness, goddammit.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. no song for the choir

**Author's Note:**

> im back and better than ever with yet another trashy incest ship #noregrets  
> is this completely ooc?? hell fuckin yeah it is!! because if it wasn’t, there would be 80% less witty one-liners and 300% more angst.  
> i think we can all agree that everyone in tfa has gone through enough as is.  
>  _what you need to know:_  
>  \- ben solo/kylo ren is the subbiest sub ever to sub. like, there’s no way this man would ever top in any galaxy _ever_. in the words of the snl skit, kylo ren is, indeed, a punk bitch.  
>  \- the first order has been mostly demolished!! yay!!  
> \- that thing that occurred in the movie? nope. didn’t happen. not today, thank you very much. everyone’s alive except for snoke. fuck you, snoke.  
> \- poe is a trans boy! this isn’t relevant to this fic at all but i’d like to think it’s important in general, y’know?
> 
> i hope you enjoy this, i most definitely enjoyed writing this.

Rey sputtered. “You tried to Force-choke me. To _death_ , you dickhead.”

“Come now, Rey,” Ben cajoled. “I’d never choke you without your consent.”

The scavenger looked towards the ceiling, face calm but ears burning red. All Rey could do was wonder how _this_ had became her life, and General Organa — the General Organa, Ben’s _mother_ , her fucking aunt — exhaled mirthfully.

Rey tugged at a loose strand of hair and said, “Yeah, I’m just gonna, um, go now. Thank you, General and —” Leia waved a hand in the air and all eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to it.

“Pssh, don’t leave on my account, Rey. Just remember that he’s not allowed out of his,” — she made some sort of hand gesture to the cell her son was being held in — and Leia chuckled softly, adding, “And make safe choices.”

Rey looked absolutely flabbergasted and Ben snorted.

Still laughing to herself, General Organa leaves, her sensible hair swooshing on top of her head.

Ben said to himself, “Yeah, thanks, for that, mother,” and Rey shot him an unimpressed look while mentally poking at his Force barrier, trying to read his thoughts.

Much to her chagrin, the only images that came floating up were those of Ben talking to his mother about how he thinks Rey might be his everything and also the General making some sort of lightsaber pun.

In an attempt to distract herself from the former statement, Rey spoke up.

“So your mom — my _boss and also aunt_ — thinks that we’re kinky as fuck.”

Ben looked equal amounts exasperated and fond when he replied, “Last time I checked, we are. We're literally cousins, Rey. You domme the fuck out of me. We are the definition of kinky. Now, are you coming in or do I need to break out of here?”

Rey shoots him a narrow look before turning to the single remaining guard, who looks apologetic before stammering various incoherent mumbles.

“I’m really only here as back up and my orders say I have to be stationed here, or else—”

The Jedi-in-training waved her hand in front of her comrade’s face and intones, “You are going to leave us here. We will be fine. Do not send anyone in until I say,” she racked her brain for an easy to remember word, “Jakku.”

Rey huffed, and she turned off whatever Force magic she was doing after the guard left the room.

“Even if you were to break out,” and the look she leveled at Ben clearly said that this would be a very, _very_ bad idea, “it’s not like I couldn’t subdue you by myself.”

Ben looks tentatively hopeful. “Is that a promise?” Which, _naturally_ , led to Rey throwing her hands in the air.

“I'm coming in, you animal, budge over,” was all she said while unlocking all of the various contraptions keeping her cousin in captivity.

_Come one, come all to look at the caged Asshole in his unnatural habitat,_ she thought wryly while shimmying into the nicely sized cell, for lack of a better word.

It was a decent living space for a grown man. There was a cot big enough for the both of them and a soft pillow, a small restroom facility for those needs, a window (heavily guarded, yes, but it's still a step up than a lot of the pilots' quarters, something Poe was moderately bitter about) and Ben had access to most of his favorite people.

His father had yet to visit, but, to be fair, Ben did stab him in the chest. One could understand why there might be a little animosity between the pair.

_Ben Solo,_ Rey reflected, _was a lot like a puppy. Fluffy, energetic and seemed the type to probably piss all over your flowers and get away with it because he was adorable and kind of breathtakingly beautiful._

_He was also,_ she thought with a smile, _a massive fucking nerd._

The puppy in question looked put out. “I can hear you,” Ben pouted and Rey pretended to be shocked.

“Really? So I'm not hearing voices? It's just my annoying other half pushing himself into my consciousness? _Inconceivable_ ,” she remarked.

He made grumbly noises and patted the side of the bed next to him in a silent invitation. She conceded, with the thought that it might be cruel to deny him anymore. At least for today, that is.

“How was your day?” Ben asked tentatively, pretending that this was a normal relationship. Pretending that they were just an average couple, talking about current events and their feelings. Maybe he'd made dinner and Rey went off to be the breadwinner, and it had been a long day and he missed her.

Actually, those last parts wasn't pretend. Rey would be the hypothetical breadwinner of the family they wanted, and it _had_ been a long day. Not to mention, Ben always wants to be near her.

_I've been okay,_ Rey pushed into his mind. _And you?_

Ben tried to look at the ground, but the woman next to him tapped his chin up gently.

_I missed you,_ is all he thought.

Rey bit her lip and reached out for her companion's hand. “I’m here now,” she pointed out, looking him in the eye. “What are you planning to do about that?”

Ben's eyes got all melted & obsidian-like, in true fanfiction-cliche style. 

“Well,” he began, “I personally was hoping to eat you out until I suffocate or drown, whichever happens first?” Ben phrased it as a question, hoping (knowing) his cousin would humor him.

Rey blinked and whispered, “I think that could, hypothetically, be arranged,” while trying to disentangle herself from her Jakku-style lower bindings.

“I was hoping that we didn't think in hypotheticals,” Ben began and shut up as soon as Rey stepped out of her pants, scars and tangled thatches of hair prominently standing out against her tan skin. “Uh…” He swallowed.

Rey smiled at the man in front of her who seemed to be struck silent by the sight before him. Was she aware that she was a walking, breathing goddess? Yes. Did it hurt to be reminded of that fact? Abso-fucking-lutely not.

“Well, I was hoping that you wouldn't be thinking at all, yes? Oof,” she added as Ben lifted her up on the bed and got on his knees in front of her.

He was pretty preoccupied for what was probably the next three hours, devouring Rey like she was his deliverance, his last meal before his execution, someone he knew in his heart of hearts that he did in no way deserve.

_Shhh,_ Rey thought. _None of that now. I hate you,_ she added wistfully before, probably, like, ascending into the heavens where she belongs.

_I know,_ he thought back with as much love he had left in his heart.

An old saying claims there's no rest for the wicked, and, honestly, these two are just here to prove that it's correct.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just an additional author's note

hi!! i've been thinking of taking this down, and just wanted to give y'all a heads up. if you like no rest for the wicked, i suggest downloading it using the lil button above because i'm most likely deleting this fic by august 15th, 2016 :^) jsyk!

my reasons for this is that i'm slowly dropping out of reylo (can i be completely honest? the reylo fandom can be definitely.....polarizing at times) and while i'm not an anti (i'll always ship a lil bit of reylo in my heart) i don't really want these fics to be what i'm known for

thanks for everything, genuinely, you guys :^)

\-- lilacs, l cubed, glittervoids, etc.

**Author's Note:**

> .......i dunno what happened. this was supposed to be a crack fic. where did the crack go?? it is a mystery
> 
> the title, no rest for the wicked, because they barely got any sleep. also they are Sinning (tm), so that makes them wicked.
> 
> reminder that everyone is deliberately ooc and also comments & kudos make me feel brighter than the starkiller being powered up on the sun's energy xoxo


End file.
